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What Makes Your Child Successful In Life
Have you ever wondered if there was something you could do that would assist your child to be successful in life? In this article ‘What Makes Your Child Successful In Life’ we will look at one of critical factors that you have complete control over that can determine how well your child performs in life.
Malcolm Gladwell in his book ‘Blink’ found that the most successful people in life were not those who had high IQ’s. Rather it was people who had parents which involved them in decision making activities as a child. For example, when their parents took them to the doctor they encouraged them to talk directly to the doctor and be actively involved in the decision making process. At no time did their parents allow them to take a passive role in decisions that affected them personally.
Let’s now look at from a brain perspective why involving your child in decision making is so critical in assisting them to live successful and happy lives.
You may or may not be surprised to learn that your brain is made up of 3 different brains. The first to evolve was the reptilian, followed by the mammalian also known as the limbic system and finally the human brain known as the neo cortex. As the names suggest the reptilian and mammalian brains are the same ones that reptiles and mammals have. If you have ever wondered why we sometimes behave like animals now you know why?
Where life can become a little difficult is that the mammalian brain or limbic system is our emotional control center. This is where our flight and fight survival responses are located as well as our highly charged emotions. The human brain evolved to control these emotional responses but the problem is because the mammalian brain evolved before the human brain it automatically kicks in before the human brain’s thinking and reasoning center. When your child is acting out of control it is because the limbic system is in full flight and the human brain containing the critical thinking skills area known as the frontal lobes is temporarily switched off. This can result in your child not being able to control their emotions which as you know can cause all sorts of problems.
If your child isn’t able to activate their frontal lobes it can result in a number of unproductive behaviours such as:
So the critical question becomes as a parent how do you ensure that your child’s frontal lobes get activated over the sometimes inappropriate responses of the limbic system?
The easiest way to activate the frontal lobes is through questioning and decision making. Hopefully now it starts to make sense why involving your child in decision making is so critical.
As a parent it is easy to assume too much responsibility for your child. This is just a natural response that most parents have to keep their children safe. Can you see why taking too much responsibility may be contributing to greater limbic system activity and keeping them stuck in inappropriate behaviours? By handing over more responsibility to them through the process of questioning and decision making you have the opportunity to empower your child to live a rich, successful and rewarding life?
To learn more about how you can unleash your child's potential and allow them to live an extraordinary life check out the book What Every Parent Needs To Know
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